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Little Johnny Jokes

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Little Johnny Jokes

Empathetic Little Johnny

Little Johnny had just moved to a new house with his parents and called his grandfather:
- Grandpa, I’m already in the new house!
- Really, Johnny? Do you like it?
- Yes, Grandpa! I have a room all to myself, my sister has a room all to herself. I just feel sorry for mom, she still has to share a room with dad.

Little Johnny had just moved to a new house with his parents and called his grandfather:
- Grandpa, I’m already in the new house!
- Really, Johnny? Do you like it?
- Yes, Grandpa! I have a room all to myself, my sister has a room all to herself. I just feel sorry for mom, she still has to share a room with dad.

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The Love Advisor

In the classroom, the teacher said to Little Johnny:
- Johnny, in the sentence

In the classroom, the teacher said to Little Johnny:
- Johnny, in the sentence 'I’m looking for a faithful man,' what is the tense?
- It’s a wasted tense, teacher.

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Discover some interesting facts about Little Johnny Jokes


Little Johnny's logic

Little Johnny arrives at school, and right away the teacher says:
- This is the fifth time you

Little Johnny arrives at school, and right away the teacher says:
- This is the fifth time you've been late this week, Johnny! Do you know what that means?
- Yes, it means today is Friday, teacher."



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Even the grandmother got involved.

Little Johnny went to his grandmother and said:
- Grandmother, can you close your eyes just for a little while?
- Why, Johnny?
- Because mom said that the day you close your eyes, we

Little Johnny went to his grandmother and said:
- Grandmother, can you close your eyes just for a little while?
- Why, Johnny?
- Because mom said that the day you close your eyes, we'll get rich.



A mysterious phone call

Little Johnny calls his teacher late at night.
- Teacher, could you repeat what you said in class today?"
- Wow, Johnny! Were you that interested?
- No, I just can’t fall asleep."

Little Johnny calls his teacher late at night. - Teacher, could you repeat what you said in class today?"
- Wow, Johnny! Were you that interested?
- No, I just can’t fall asleep."



Little Johnny's School Struggles

- Little Johnny: "I

- Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again!"
- Mom: "Why not?"
- Little Johnny: "The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions!"



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Little Johnny can also be cute

- Little Johnny asks his mom:
- Mom, did you know that red is the color of love?
Of course, my dear.
- I love you, mom. Here’s my report card.

- Little Johnny asks his mom:
- Mom, did you know that red is the color of love? Of course, my dear.
- I love you, mom. Here’s my report card.



Little Johnny's Royal Counting System

- Teacher: "Can you count to 10?"
- Little Johnny: "Yes, teacher – one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten."
- Teacher: "Now go on from there."
- Little Johnny: "Jack, Queen, King."

- Teacher: "Can you count to 10?"
- Little Johnny: "Yes, teacher – one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten."
- Teacher: "Now go on from there."
- Little Johnny: "Jack, Queen, King."



Jimmy's Early Return: A Genius Answer

One day Jimmy got home early from school.
- His elder sister asked, “Why are you home so early?”
- He answered, “Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.”
- She said, “Wow, my brother is a genius.
- What was the question?”
- Jimmy replied, “The question was ‘Who threw the trash can at the principal’s head?’”

One day Jimmy got home early from school.
- His elder sister asked, “Why are you home so early?”
- He answered, “Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.”
- She said, “Wow, my brother is a genius.
- What was the question?”
- Jimmy replied, “The question was ‘Who threw the trash can at the principal’s head?’”



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Little Johnny's Unhelpful Help

– Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?
– Because I helped her.
– But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
– I helped her eat her gummy bears.

– Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?
– Because I helped her.
– But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
– I helped her eat her gummy bears.



Little Johnny's Weather Forecast

- Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine."
- Little Johnny smiles.
- Teacher: "So what

- Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine."
- Little Johnny smiles.
- Teacher: "So what's so funny about it?"
- Little Johnny: "It's snowing!"



Little Johnny's Spelling, His Way!

- Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"?"
- Little Johnny: "E-L-E-F-A-N-T"
- Teacher: "No Johnny, that is incorrect."
- Johnny: "Maybe it is wrong, Miss, but you asked how I spell it."

- Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"?"
- Little Johnny: "E-L-E-F-A-N-T"
- Teacher: "No Johnny, that is incorrect."
- Johnny: "Maybe it is wrong, Miss, but you asked how I spell it."



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Little Johnny's Egg-cellent Logic!

- Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be?"
- Little Johnny: "None!"
- Teacher (surprised): "Why not?"
- Little Johnny: "Because you can

- Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be?"
- Little Johnny: "None!"
- Teacher (surprised): "Why not?"
- Little Johnny: "Because you can't lay eggs!"



A New Definition of an Island

- Teacher: "What is an island?"
- Little Johnny: "A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side."
- Teacher: "On one side?"
- Little Johnny: "Yes, on top!"

- Teacher: "What is an island?"
- Little Johnny: "A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side."
- Teacher: "On one side?"
- Little Johnny: "Yes, on top!"



Little Johnny's Channel-Surfing Math

- The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn

- The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
- She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
- Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"



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Little Johnny's Essay

- Little Johnny

- Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's!"
- Did you just copy hers?, she asks.
- Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog!"



Little Johnny's Logic

Teacher asks Little Johnny, “Johnny, how old is your father?”
“He’s as old as me,” Johnny informs her.
“Now how would that be possible?” inquires the surprised teacher.
“Well – he became father the day I was born.”

Teacher asks Little Johnny, “Johnny, how old is your father?”
“He’s as old as me,” Johnny informs her.
“Now how would that be possible?” inquires the surprised teacher.
“Well – he became father the day I was born.”



Johnny's Homework Excuse

At school: "Johnny, where’s your homework?"
Johnny: "I’m very sorry, I don’t have it here."
Teacher: "How come?"
Johnny: "I ate my exercise books."
Teacher: "What?! Why would you do such a thing?!"

Johnny: "The dog refused to."

At school: "Johnny, where’s your homework?"
Johnny: "I’m very sorry, I don’t have it here."
Teacher: "How come?"
Johnny: "I ate my exercise books."
Teacher: "What?! Why would you do such a thing?!" Johnny: "The dog refused to."



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Little Johnny's Spelling Shortcut

- Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business?"
- Johnny: "In Vishakhapatnam."
- Teacher: "How interesting. And now tell us all how it is spelled."
- Johnny: "Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa."

- Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business?"
- Johnny: "In Vishakhapatnam."
- Teacher: "How interesting. And now tell us all how it is spelled."
- Johnny: "Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa."



Little Johnny’s Chemistry Confusion

- Teacher asks, “Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?”
- Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!
- The teacher is puzzled, “What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?”
- Little Johnny looks hurt, “But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it

- Teacher asks, “Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?”
- Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!
- The teacher is puzzled, “What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?”
- Little Johnny looks hurt, “But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!” Little Johnny looks hurt, “But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!”



Johnny's Ticket Trouble

Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland?"
Little Johnny: "A reindeer."
Teacher: "Good, now name another."
Little Johnny: "Another reindeer!"

Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland?"
Little Johnny: "A reindeer."
Teacher: "Good, now name another."
Little Johnny: "Another reindeer!"



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Little Johnny and the Letter I

- Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i"
- Little Johnny: "I is..."
- Teacher interrupts: "No Johnny, always say "I am".
- Little Johnny: "Ok Miss... I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

- Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i"
- Little Johnny: "I is..."
- Teacher interrupts: "No Johnny, always say "I am".
- Little Johnny: "Ok Miss... I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."



Johnny's Honest Observation

Little Johnny’s new sibling was crying and screaming for hours.
- He asked his parents where they got him from. They reply:
- “Oh, we got him straight from heaven.”
- Johnny said:
- “Jeez. I see why they kicked him out of there.”

Little Johnny’s new sibling was crying and screaming for hours.
- He asked his parents where they got him from. They reply:
- “Oh, we got him straight from heaven.”
- Johnny said:
- “Jeez. I see why they kicked him out of there.”



Little Johnny's Clever Excuse

- Little Johnny asks the teacher:
“Can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
- The teacher is shocked. “Of course not, Johnny! That would be very unfair!”
- Johnny is relieved. “That’s good to know,” he says, “Because I haven’t done my homework.”

- Little Johnny asks the teacher:
“Can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
- The teacher is shocked. “Of course not, Johnny! That would be very unfair!”
- Johnny is relieved. “That’s good to know,” he says, “Because I haven’t done my homework.”



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Like in the North Pole

Little Johnny comes home after school. His mom asks:
How was school today, Johnny?
It was like the North Pole.
What do you mean? The North Pole?
Everything was below zero!

Little Johnny comes home after school. His mom asks:
How was school today, Johnny?
It was like the North Pole.
What do you mean? The North Pole?
Everything was below zero!



Little Johnny arrives late to school

Once again, Little Johnny arrives late to school.
- "What happened this time, Johnny?"
- "I was attacked by a pit bull on my way to school, teacher!"
- "Oh my! Are you okay? Did it bite you?"
- "No, it didn’t bite me. But it ate all my homework!"

Once again, Little Johnny arrives late to school.
- "What happened this time, Johnny?"
- "I was attacked by a pit bull on my way to school, teacher!"
- "Oh my! Are you okay? Did it bite you?"
- "No, it didn’t bite me. But it ate all my homework!"



Johnny's Ticket Trouble

During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.
A friend asks: "Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?"
Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister."
The friend asks: "And where is your sister?"
Johnny says: "Back at home, looking for her ticket."

During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.
A friend asks: "Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?"
Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister."
The friend asks: "And where is your sister?"
Johnny says: "Back at home, looking for her ticket."



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Miracle in the Math class

Little Johnny was the only student in the class to get the math problem right that the teacher had assigned as homework. Suspicious, she asks:
"Johnny, did you do the homework with your dad?"
"Of course not, teacher!"
"That

Little Johnny was the only student in the class to get the math problem right that the teacher had assigned as homework. Suspicious, she asks:
"Johnny, did you do the homework with your dad?"
"Of course not, teacher!"
"That's great news, Johnny!"
"My dad did it all by himself."



Little Johnny's Perfect Score

Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today."
Mother: "Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?"
Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history."
Mother: "Well, at least you can add!"

Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today."
Mother: "Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?"
Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history."
Mother: "Well, at least you can add!"




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